Of the Business Ramifications of Babies

I have more RSS feeds set up than any respectable human being probably should have. Some have more fruitful content than others, such as Fortune’s Management and Career feed. When I saw the notification for a new article in this feed, I got excited (I was also ridiculously bored before this, but I digress). The article, “Flexible jobs = happy worker bees?” by Katherine Reynolds Lewis, did not disappoint my ravenous desire for out of the box business thinking. However, I can’t help but have some disagreement with the presented flexibility. Most of the ideas could work very well, save for service industries, but one particular idea doesn’t seem like it would quite mesh in almost any environment: bringing your baby to work.

The idea certainly seems to work at Menlo Innovations, but there are some abnormal factors colluding to allow this. Of note is the large open space that employees work in. The space provides an openness and hum of background noise that welcomes a baby’s cry with relatively minimal addition to overall sound levels. The employees seem to be very accommodating as well, caring for another’s child willingly. I can’t help but think the article’s tone is such that any adversity to the child would be omitted, but for the sake of argument, I’ll take it for what it says.

In most other environments, on the other hand, a baby (or in a worst case scenario, babies), could prove very problematic. Many offices have little open space, and generally have a quieter atmosphere. A sudden cry can be very jarring and horribly distracting. If a given worker is deep into a stressful project, the child could compound this stress to the breaking point. This applies to both the parent and the myriad of coworkers who are unwillingly subject to this new distraction. Sure, employees could bring headphones, but it can be a lofty investment to purchase a pair that would properly eliminate the noise. And why should so many workers be forced to accommodate the needs of one?

In the typical office environment, there are already too many distractions, often in the form of internet services. There is a growing trend of allowing workers to invest certain amounts of time with these distractions, and there is supporting evidence that this actually improves productivity. But there comes a point where it becomes too much. . You have workers distracted by Facebook, Twitter, Peggle, and now babies. For most, the baby is an involuntary, stressful pull from productivity. For those more positively inclined to the baby, it becomes a distraction of a different sort. Whereas Facebook and other such services are more of a personal distraction, a child distracts everyone in range. The few that love the baby may certainly be more productive. But the majority who may be less tolerant will be far less productive.

In such a situation, I would be much more inclined to provide paternity leave and hire a temporary contractor to fill the position in the meantime. This can be a costly measure, but would be far more beneficial to my employees’ collective sanity in the meantime. I find this to be an agreeable compromise. Food for thought.